MHAW 2021: Caring for the carers

There was a moment during one of Auckland's recent COVID-19 lockdowns that almost broke Dave Letele. 

Dave is the founder of BBM Motivation, a not-for-profit health and fitness programme which saw demand for its food bank services surge in 2020 with the arrival in New Zealand of COVID-19.

During the September 2021 Level 4 lockdown in Auckland, Dave found himself once again delivering boxes of food to whānau across the city. 

Arriving at a small block of flats to deliver a parcel to a family in need, Dave discovered the rest of the building was also struggling. 

"I was asked by a Middlemore (Hospital) nurse to deliver a parcel for a family — a solo dad with a son with type one diabetes. He had no food, which is quite dangerous. I went over to this place, it was as if I was no longer in New Zealand. It was an emergency housing place and everyone — every single person in that block of units — was hungry. 

"They poked their heads out as I delivered the food parcel and asked us 'how do we get one?' They were begging for food."

Dave had extra food on hand so was able to distribute this to the other residents, but he couldn't forget what he'd seen. 

"Every day I've gone back and fed the whole apartment block. But that's one apartment block and people in this situation are everywhere. 

"I'm always asking myself 'how can I do more?' But you've only got limited resources and you can only do so much."

The benefit of kōrero

This year's Mental Health Awareness Week (27 September – 3 October), is focusing on taking time to kōrero (connect and talk with others).

Dave says this is really important, especially for those caring for their communities, who face these kind of confronting situations on a daily basis. 

"I've been through some really bad times but I was lucky because I had good people around me, a good family who were there for me. I want to encourage people not to be shy and not to be embarrassed to ask for help."

According to Dave, it goes both ways. If you know someone's struggling, keep talking and checking in on them.

Dave has struggled with mental health issues himself, and says it's important for leaders to look after themselves so they can look after others. 

"It's really tough for me personally and for a lot of people who are what I call servant leaders. We're out there in the community helping people and it can be hard because if we're constantly giving all day, our own wellbeing cup's often quite empty."

Seeing those who benefit from the service he provides helps him remember who he's doing it for. 

"When I see the kids that we're feeding, knowing that people are eating because we exist, that helps me. When I'm feeling down, I think of the families that we're helping, and that helps to lift me and motivate me to keep going."

Fixing it for future generations

Dave says much of what he does is for the kids. He knows what it's like to grow up in a tough environment. 

"My father was the president of the Mongrel Mob but he came from a good family — he was the one who went off the rails. So it wasn't like I came from generations of hopelessness and generations of gangs; I broke that cycle. 

"It was hard but nowhere as hard as it is for the kids who come from generations of nothing."

Dave sees the solution as government departments, community groups and businesses working together, but he admits it won't be easy. 

"We've got some work to do."

Find time to unwind

Dave believes that taking time out to do something you enjoy — whether that's exercising, reading or cooking — is extremely important. For Dave, running virtual bootcamps through BBM provides him this break.

"While we're training, we're not thinking about anything else but the session. When you're finished you're physically tired but for that 45 minutes, your brain's had a rest from worrying about everything. So it gives you a good chance to be a little more refreshed and able to take on whatever life throws at you."

Top tips for managing mental health

Take time out to do things you enjoy.

• Look after yourself so you can also help look after others.
• Take time every day to kōrero (connect and talk with others)
• When you know someone's struggling, keep checking in on them.
• Use physical exercise to help your brain take a rest from things that are worrying you.

Join Āki, the MAS Wellbeing Hub, to see more from Dave including motivational fitness videos. Āki is free for Members and their families to join and provides tools and simple advice about improving your physical health as well as your nutritional, mental and financial wellbeing. All you need to join is your member number.

To donate to BBM's food delivery program, visit them here.