Communication 101

From pass-agg Post-its around your flat, to cryptic comments scribbled on assignments - students deal with all sorts of confusing communication. And whether you're a yarn-spinning pro, or have a frog in your throat, it pays to understand how different communication works for different people. 

It all boils down to four communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive. And knowing the difference can be the key to getting your message across. So we're breaking down the basics to let you know what to look out for. Or rather, who...

Passive Percy

We all know a Passive Percy. That shy guy who lends you a pen every lesson, but wouldn't dare ask for it back. An awkward fellow prone to 'beating around the bush' rather than getting straight to the point. He avoids expressing himself and struggles to state his needs directly. Typically, this doesn't pan out in his favour, often bottling up emotions until they spew out in an explosive outburst. After which, the poor sap retreats into his shell, full of regret. 

If you know a Passive Percy, it's worth checking in on his pent up emotions from time to time. Be patient, keep it calm and create a safe space for open dialogue. He needs all the help he can get. 

Pass-agg Polly

No one likes dealing with a Pass-agg Polly. Likely the culprit behind those vicious Post-its on your flat fridge, she needs to feel in control. Cool on the surface, and hot at the core - relying on subtle rather than direct confrontation. She feels incapable of expressing anger, and undermines the object of her frustration like a smiling assassin. But when she feels powerless, it's often the easiest way to get her point across and still keep it together. 

If you're on the receiving end of her snipes, ask her calmly and directly, "what's good?". If she feels she's being taken seriously, she may drop her guard and tell it to you straight. 

Agro Aaron

If you thought Pass-agg Polly was a pain, Agro Aaron is even worse. He's that rascal in your lecture who asks obnoxious questions, and never listens to the answers. Not one to shy away from a fight, he's all about being heard whether you want to listen or not. Dominating anything and anyone in his path, Agro Aaron can be borderline abusive. He doesn't care what you have to say. And if you take too long to get to the point, you bet he'll interrupt you. 

Likely the hardest to communicate with out of the four, Agro Aaron is best left out of the conversation. But if you do find yourself in an exchange with this guy, try to keep your cool. He hates that.

Assertive Alicia

There's no confusion with this communication Queen. Assertive Alicia gives it to you straight, without raising her voice. She's your bestie, your ride or die, that one person you can talk to about anything. Not only is she in touch with her emotional, spiritual, and physical needs - she understands you have needs too. It's equal parts empathy and confidence. That means every exchange is balanced for both parties, and no one comes away feeling unheard. 

Assertive Alicia is no fool. She won't be steamrolled by Agro Aaron, or sniped by Pass-agg Polly. And if you're Passive Percy, take notes. Assertive Alicia found a voice. And you can too.